If you are dealing with pain right now, don't worry about trying to answer all the questions that come to your mind. Somehow, in some ways, people hurt us though they are not even aware of it. Maybe I could feel heaps better if they realized their shortcomings, but it would be a waste to let them know it.

I have read numerous articles regarding forgiveness. The very significant thing I learned from this was....when you forgive someone who gave you pain emotionally, you also must totally forget that hurt. How could you give glory to that pain when the person who hurted you was never even bothered to know its true meaning? Does it mean that I have to pretend I have gotten away with it? Would it make me a lesser person if I did not get over it? 

I"m not gonna give my own analysis of those people who easily forgive and forget. Sometimes, it's pointless to try to make someone understand why you like what you like. Time is the only remedy to solve all emotionally based problems and we can all attest to that…I can attest to that…by all means, give it a try…..JEANNIEBUGS

"DON'T TORTURE ME WITH LIES, BEAT ME WITH THE TRUTH"

I don't make a habit of telling a lie so quickly, and if I do, it is...pretty obvious! I am forty three years getting used to the idea that when someone tell lies, the person's tongue would be cut off literally...I read a book by Father Jerry Orbos, " Moments" and I guess he's got a right to write down his experiences in Korea about a visionary named Kim, when the latter saw many worms coming out of people's mouths aplenty.... Ngiiiiiii............awful, isn't it? 

She told Father Jerry the consequences of lies, the bigger the worms that come out of your mouth, the bigger lies you've been blurting out there.
I am probably not sounding much of a counselor nor a priest, but to write such blog like this, nothing can ever go wrong.

So, from this point on, reality speaks in.....truth will set you free...never beat around the bush,,,,get straight to the point....lies will torture you, just beat me with the truth...

A Prayer

"I will lie down in peace and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe." Psalm 4:8

"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27

Dear Lord,

I need you now because I am full of stress and anxiety. Reading your Word brings comfort, as I ask you to come and take my heavy burdens. I take each burden, one by one, and lay them at your feet. Please carry them for me so that I don't have to. Replace them with your humble and gentle yoke so that I will find rest for my soul today. I receive your gift of peace of mind and heart. Thank you that I can lie down tonight in peace and sleep. I know that you, Lord, will keep me safe. I am not afraid because you are always with me. Please keep me daily, Lord, in your perfect peace.

Amen.

Beyond Blues

I am in my lowest emotional state right now or what we might call, sad to say, depression. Everybody hates this kind of feeling wherein the devil would have taken away our faith and our goddamn nature willfully let it be so. I ignored this state somehow when I pray silently and wished bothersome illness of a hub would soon be over and be recovered. I could barely hang on but since I believe prayers can move mountains, I just stick to that conviction, otherwise, it may wreak havoc on my system that will trigger my blues.
These days I've been pretty tied up browsing the net about illnesses and treatments of this so-called "Thrombocytopenia", a medical term for a low blood platelet count. I am by no means, an expert to this, but the fact I had a short course in medical transcription, I may have a bit of know- how, if not too much. This illness may damage the liver and may cause some effects on other vital organs that may lead to chills and fever. The very thought of it made me sick at the pit of my stomach. It made my heart cry out in vain, like I had no one to turn to.
Just last week, i was jolted out of bed when I heard him calling my name and found out he was having chills and fever. That was 4am and I still have to do my daily morning routine along with the kid's preparation for school. I was really anxious that day and keep believing in high spirits that all will be well.... relentlessly pursued everything would turn out right. That very same day, we went to the hospital and have done some blood tests and xrays.
It's a comfort to know there would be no confinement at all, at least. But still, depression haunts me. I am still a prisoner of the emotional pain. Had a hard time admitting this until now and might not be able to get a handle. I have to be strong.....Stop being puny..... Be brave.....jeanniebugs.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ANGELS?

It's a pity that few people realized the existence of angels. Everyone of us has a guardian angel that we can call on, when the going gets tough, in times of despair, or when you simply wanted to make some group of friends. They have been assigned by the heavens above to look out for us, take care of everything that could be impossible for us to handle.

Angel books are one of the  faves i seem to devour since my childhood. The authors have experienced themselves how to encounter angels that inspired them to write true-to-life stories including their involvement with these tremendous support system. The likes of Sophy Burnham, Joan Wester Anderson (my favorite angel author!), also Paolo Coelho, and many more angel writers that could bring the adrenaline rush brought up by  the existence of these life savers. 

Now, from my seemingly everlasting dossier on real-life angel experiences and reading, there were some related stories in my life that made me believe about them. I remember the day when I was in 5th grade, we were 3 besties riding on a bike when turning right the other side of the road, we felt like someone pushed us sideways and dropped us on the soft grass without anyone of us  getting hurt or even had a scratch. Seconds later, there was a huge truck abruptly turning supposedly on our way. That truck would have hit us! Then who pushed us right there and then? Was there any soul around? I dunno.

The second time I was convinced a guardian angel was looking out for me when I was lost in the City of Baguio. I was then 15 years old. I'm a homebody and haven't gotten used to travel a lot of places. That was summer, I was invited by a friend who lived there to see a flick of Tatum O'Neal. On our way home, we had to go each on our own. But I couldn't find my way, come hell or high water I must be home before 6pm. I was lost so I walked and walked and walked. I was on pins and needles and my mind was blank when I heard a soft whisper and a gentle caress that relaxingly find my way home!  

These are a few of the many angel stories I have encountered. If we could just sit down and blab and have free time, I can tell you all.

You'll begin to feel the calmness influence of guardian angels when you believe in them, free your mind of worries and have an open, loving heart. How awesome would that be? Do you believe in angels? They exist.

All About Jackie M.---my very close friend

***I am not a storywriter nor a freelance journ, but I can relate the life story concisely of my pretty friend, Jackie. ( with her permission, of course)

Cristina Nicole Jackielou Mandi a.k.a. Jackie M. has lived her life in a loving and happy family. Jackie's biological mom died of giving birth when she was barely 4 years old and together with her sister, Candace and brother Christopher embraced the emptiness and the loss of a loving mom and a kid brother.Her mom's bestfriend, Elsie, took care of the siblings until her father fell in love with this woman who took care of everything for the family so they got married after 2 years. Stepmom Elsie loves Jackie very, very much and Jackie found the love of a real mom in her. She was in college when her father died from a car accident.

Jackie spent the rest of her school years in an exclusive girls' school in Baguio City, Marishan, an english-speaking school. Jackie had many suitors in college, but she's well known for her snobbish personality and stern. She never experienced having a boyfriend at this point in her life. (Huh...we're kinda birds of the same feather?)
Right after college, finished a degree in Bachelor of Science in Banking and Finance, she was hired as a temporary employee at the Philippine Long Distance Telephone COmpany in Baguio City. After 2 years in the service, she became a regular employee. Not long after that, in just about a month, her sister who got married in Japan to a navy officer convinced her to file a student visa. She was reluctant then but since she wanted to experience life in Japan, she studied their language but seemed too difficult for her to catch up those kanji, hiragana and katakana systems. She went back to work in the Philippines as a Directory Assistant at PLDT.

After a year, her brother Christopher filed a tourist visa for her in Canada together with her stepmom. She opted for a temporary work permit in canada but did not pass. She filed another one for Skilled Independent Worker's Visa Renewable contract and she passed! She quitted her job at PLDT and went to Canada. She finished Early Childhood Education for 12 months and got a certification in Winnipeg, Manitoba to teach pre-school children because she really loves tots and toddlers. ( We do have many things in common, friendship!) Her stepmom returned to the Philippines due to the very cold weather, she got an osteoarthritis (until she had a stroke late last year.)

By the time Jackie was teaching at Hand In Hand, she fell in love with a banker at Novia Scotia, who made it a point to date her but pointlessly gave Jackie a downfall to her lovelife. The guy seemed too aggressive and only wanted lust in his life, and Jackie being a mom's girl haven't even experienced being kissed. The guy without any reason, fled to the US to marry an American citizen and left Jackie broken hearted.

While I am writing this blog, Jackie  had been crying buckles coz she thought she had given up again a TRUE AND UNSELFISH LOVE which is not worth fighting for because it's helpless. She came back to the Philippines to take care of her sick mom, coz she loves her so much! Up to this time, Jackie hasn't found the right love yet, until one day she heard a "call" from the heavens to enter the convent. Story short, her life is now in good faith being a travelling nun and  the rest is history. 😌