Beyond Blues

I am in my lowest emotional state right now or what we might call, sad to say, depression. Everybody hates this kind of feeling wherein the devil would have taken away our faith and our goddamn nature willfully let it be so. I ignored this state somehow when I pray silently and wished bothersome illness of a hub would soon be over and be recovered. I could barely hang on but since I believe prayers can move mountains, I just stick to that conviction, otherwise, it may wreak havoc on my system that will trigger my blues.
These days I've been pretty tied up browsing the net about illnesses and treatments of this so-called "Thrombocytopenia", a medical term for a low blood platelet count. I am by no means, an expert to this, but the fact I had a short course in medical transcription, I may have a bit of know- how, if not too much. This illness may damage the liver and may cause some effects on other vital organs that may lead to chills and fever. The very thought of it made me sick at the pit of my stomach. It made my heart cry out in vain, like I had no one to turn to.
Just last week, i was jolted out of bed when I heard him calling my name and found out he was having chills and fever. That was 4am and I still have to do my daily morning routine along with the kid's preparation for school. I was really anxious that day and keep believing in high spirits that all will be well.... relentlessly pursued everything would turn out right. That very same day, we went to the hospital and have done some blood tests and xrays.
It's a comfort to know there would be no confinement at all, at least. But still, depression haunts me. I am still a prisoner of the emotional pain. Had a hard time admitting this until now and might not be able to get a handle. I have to be strong.....Stop being puny..... Be brave.....jeanniebugs.